For those unfamiliar with all things Carrie Bradshaw, in this episode Carrie continues to have an affair with married man Mr. Big, while Samantha Jones (which I've always felt represented one of my many alter egos) met her match sexually. As her lover drags her to a room with a swing (yeah, girrl not even a bed!!), amist hot and heavy foreplay, he asked when was the last time she had an HIV test. Now let me just say, as a young woman who chooses to be sex positive, apart of being sex positive is undeniably advocating for safe sex. The best way to stay safe? Say it with me choir "GET TESTED!"
Her lover took the stand up, sex positive route and tried to make safe "sexy", and it worked for me, not so much for our favorite kinky public relations agent. She then admits to her friends she's never been tested!
Now this has been my forever beef with Sex and The City, and I'm open to debate, but they never tell each other when they are wildin'. They kind of dance around and say it in a very wordy "nice" way, which I get, can may be good for people who don't want to feel judged, especially in "sensitive situations" like sexual health. But.. NOPE, one of those heffers should've told Samantha about her self.
Samantha isn't like any of her other friends, she is the more frisky, kinky, "I'll-try-everything-atleast-once" type of woman. So i was perplexed when her girl friends asked why she hasn't had a check up, she replied "I'm too scared".
While I watch Sex and the City I actually like to pretend as if I'm on the show, since I'm a loser and way too attached to my fav. shows, so I present you the dialogue that would've transpired had the Queen been present:
Samantha: I've never gotten the test.
Carrie: What do you mean I've never gotten the test?
Samantha: I never needed. I've always had safe sex.
*all side eyes the shit out of Samantha*
Kamilah: Yo, you know you're bugging right?
Samantha: I know.. but I'm scared.
Kamilah: Are you kidding me? What if you have an STD, or HIV? You're putting yourself and others at risk by not knowing.
Miranda: But I mean, Samantha does have a point.. Its scary thinking about having those disease. I can't even imagine talking to Steve about that.
Kamilah: Okay its scary and awkward to talk about, but you know what's even scarier? Not being able to have kids because you uterus shut down, because you have advance chlymidia.
Carrie (in voiceover) : And suddenly I realized how right Kamilah was. I thought back to the times I worried about being tested. I've never even thought to sit down and have this conversation with any of my partners.
And not a lot of people do. But having this discussion is just as if not more important than getting down and frisky. One time, my sex ed teacher explained that when we have unprotected sex with on individual, we are having sex with every individual that individual had unprotected sex with. So hypothetically speaking, if Samantha's lover had sex with her at that moment, he'd be having sex with enough men to last 4 seasons. And on top of the many lovers she had, Samantha would be having sex with the many women her promiscuous man candy has slept with. That's much scarier to digest than going to the doctor office, having a swab of the mouth (or blood withdrawn) that can protect and save your life.
Oh, and just incase you were wondering, NO Charlotte had no speaking role because I deemed her unworthy to participate in the conversation.
Are you scared to have "the talk" with your partner? Any suggestions?