Situationship: any problematic relationship characterized by one or more unresolved, interpersonal conflicts. usually confused with dating.
2. A relationship that has no label on it.. like a friendship but more than a friendship but not quite a relationship. But I do have my ideas of what a relationship should look like.
In my mind, it's laying down on my partners lap, looking crazy af, watching marathons while having my booty rubbed on. But it's also supportive, hilarious (we can't be together if we don't have humorous, non-nonsensical conversations), neurotic, safe, and most importantly monogamous.
As I surf through stories of the week, I noticed several themes, EVERYONE IS CHEATING!
Whether it's Jared Fogle, who has been caught with child pornography, and statutorily raped several minors. Bill Cosby, who raped multiple women since the 70s, or the now infamous Ashley Madison hacking scandal, which has exposed several government officials, reality stars, and other figures.
What all these stories have in common is that people (because men aren't the only ones who cheat) in committed relationships (marriages, or just plain ol' relationships) are seeking outside pleasure/fulfillment. But my thing is por que? What is it that is causing people to step out, and with the assumption that the grass is greener on the other side?
Everywhere we turn to as a society, we are being conditioned to want more. More sex, more stimulation, more fulfillment. Whether it's a person, money, clothes, cars, etc., if we don't have that more, we feel a void that we HAVE to fill. Instead of being happy with what we have, recognizing the blessings that we have in our possession, we look for blessings/recognize blessings in the other.
THEN to top it all off, when you make polygamy a topic of conversation, it's automatically demonized ("Nah, that's not right, you MUST be faithful"). SO which is it? Are we going to be a nation that embraces monogamy, or are we a nation that's totally OK with having multiple significant others?
The wide world of polygamy: We hate it, others love it
Male animals are polygamist for three reasons:
1, They have the better genes in their tribe, so naturally female animals are more attracted and want to procreate with them.
2. Female animals recognize that they are better off being protected by the strongest, dominant male.
3. There's a scarcity of males within the population.
In the 32 countries that Dr. Barber explored, where polygamy is openly accepted, and practiced (mainly in developing countries), the same concept is applied. Women are attracted to the most physically attractive, disease-free man in their population, the man that could protect them financially, and/or economically (maybe even physically). And also, within their society, there's less men who don't have diseases, or meet all of their needs, so they settle, and accept.
You can say the same applies here in the U.S.
But in addition to diseases, think of education level, economic status, background, etc. Not enough men in our society are #winning, versus women that is. Those who aren't winning as much as their partner are seeking to fill that void, and have someone make them feel better for their shortcomings. Those who are winning much more than their partner, try to bridge that gap as well thanks to their machoism and ego.
For women, it's much less common for them to step out, unless they're lacking in the emotional fulfillment department. It's hard to stay committed to something that just isn't speaking to you in volumes. If it does touch you like it used to, if it doesn't feel the same as it once did, then women are going to seek after something else to, again, fill that void.
CC: Why older women cheat on their husbands with younger men.
Like I mentioned before, I just think we're a nation in constant supply, and demand mode. It bleeds from our economic ideology, to our personal ideology. And the digital paradigm that we're in, doesn't necessarily ease that issue. After all, with instant connections, social networking, and media, it makes it that much more easier to meet, greet, and link with someone, hide the fact that you are married, or in a relationship, as well as hiding it from your partner.
Maybe I'll just stay single, or entertain these situationships, because the reality of it all is if we aren't engaging in a public dialogue about this, the issue will only manifest and continue to be swept under the rug.